Me: Oh, this cup's mine. It has teeth marks.
Cody: Is that also how you identify penises?
Me: Yeah, actually. I'm the Ted Bundy of blowjobs.



when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

i want to reblog this 100 times but i’ll just do it once

(via the-8ae-reloaded)